oh I've thought it many many times since being diagnosed with dysautonomia which was over a year ago. after countless doctors appointments, lots of research, and talking with other individuals who have dysautonomia, I (sorta kinda maybe) have a grasp on it. anywho here goes nothing.

Living Not Fighting with Dysautonomia

I stumbled across this amazingly sarcastic and hilarious blog LetsFeelBetter last week and one of her recent blog posts really resonated with me. I would encourage you to check it out if you have a chronic illness or know someone who has one. The blog post is called Five Ways You're Not "Living" with Chronic Illness Here's a little peek of what lead to another ah-ha moment for me.   

4. You’re Not Living with Chronic Illness if You’re “Fighting” It

Chronic Illness is not cancer. You don’t “fight” it. You don’t “beat” it. You don’t make a voodoo doll out of it and start stabbing it with acupuncture needles. In the same way we don’t use the word “cure” to mean “treat’ we can’t use the word “fight” to mean “deal with.” Don’t head-butt your disease, outsmart it.

shopping with Nans

I've always loved shopping. like a lot. probably too much actually. my senior year of high school I went to the mall every single week and I pretty much always came home with at least one bag. in college I went on a shopping fast for an entire summer. of course bills and being an "adult" have helped my shopping compulsion to calm down. but I still love a shopping adventure. 

I also want to introduce you all to a lovely friend. Nans is a bit psychotic and unpredictable and very needy. oh and I can't ever get away from her. Sounds like a great friend right?! yes I am talking about my autonomic disorder. Nans is the short and sweet nickname for my (naughty) autonomic nervous system. 

in the pursuit of happiness & health

"I'm so sick of trying things..." 

and I meant it. I was frustrated and defeated. I was ready to wave the white flag. it didn't really seem to matter if I did everything that anyone and everyone suggested - I could barely function most days. I was faking feeling good most of the time so that I could have a life. and so I sent that text to my mom. 

that particular night I was mad because if it wasn't one symptom it was another. I had traded constant dizziness for constant nausea. that day I had been so excited the nausea eased up enough for me to eat dinner. chicken, a baked potato, and corn on the cob to be exact. except then I started having horrible chest pain. before you start freaking out (the words "chest pain" make anyone freak - trust me I'm a cardiac nurse) let me assure you I've been having chest pain for over a year. it's not real chest pain in the sense that I don't have any blockages in my coronary arteries but goodness gracious fake chest pain hurts. that night i was wondering how did my normal include nausea and chest pain?! 

diy + how to sew an envelope pillow cover in minutes

obsessed is an understatement when it comes to pillow covers. but in my defense you can never have too many pillows (fact), they are so dang cute (fact), making pillow covers is ridiculously easy (fact), and I just can't stop (fact). our bed already has 9 pillows and i may or may not have bought - yesterday actually - some more fabric and a pillow to add to the collection. 

i've warned you so only continue reading if you also want to become obsessed with sewing pillow covers and decorating every room in your house with pillows. once you start there's no going back. 

diy + how to make and use chalk paint

one perk of life that i am thoroughly enjoying is Pinterest days. it started out as a girls day to make some simple crafts and make new recipes and has now evolved into something much more serious and hardcore. aka i borrowed {indefinitely} my dad's miter saw. haven't cut off any fingers yet. safety is always a priority just take a look at the last picture. anywho i thought it would be fun to do a diy series on some of what i and my partner in crime Danielle have been making/redoing the past couple of months.  

the B word: budget

i love having a budget. 

one of my "being goals" for this year is  \\ being financially free //

my tune has definitely changed since we first started budgeting 6 months ago. in fact the only reason i decided to give budgeting a shot was to prove that it does not work. i was certain it would not help with paying down debt and i just knew it would be stressful and confining. i was wrong. so very wrong. 

celebrate the small victories

i had all these grand plans of getting caught up on blog posts since i've been stuck at home the last month but turns out when simple things are hard work blog posts aren't a priority. anywho it's been almost six weeks since i had a major flare up of my autonomic disorder and i think it's safe to (finally) say i'm feeling better.

its so easy to be thankful for health when I'm feeling great. i distinctly remember praying a few days before my flare up and asking God to help me be thankful even when i don't feel great. oh the irony.   

naughty autonomic nervous system

i am very convinced that my autonomic nervous system has the personality and temperament of a two year old which is why i'm seriously considering giving it a name.  

just today i've already said the following. i have no idea what it wants from me?! it's decided that it's going to be pissed off no matter what i do. i think it's still sulking. it's just acting up. it of course being my naughty autonomic nervous system.   

anyways so-and-so had a nasty little temper tantrum Monday night (conveniently) while i was at work. on the cardiac floor. oh the irony. i was even wearing my new glasses. so rude. anyways not too long into my shift i started feeling really warm which progressed to getting really dizzy and then feeling like i was going to pass out. my heart rate was going 140-160. a little too fast. before i knew it i was in a wheelchair and headed to ER. 

\\ being financially free //

So this year I decided to focus on being rather than doing. Currently I am really excited about this goal 

\\ Being Financially Free // 

We started tackling out debt (read here) with the help of Dave Ramsey in 2012. At the time, I was not totally convinced it would work but I'm hooked now. Mostly because it's easy, stress-free, and liberating.  Bet you didn't know those words could be associated with finances. You could almost say it's fun!  

Yesterday I [finally] organized our finance binder and [finally finally] made a budget binder. Yay for organization. Also I'm totally realizing I have become "that" person but I'm okay with that.

Our February Baby

I can't even tell you how many times [today] I have read this article How they see us since I stumbled across it sitting in Walmart's parking lot while Aaron grabbed some shredded cheese, bread, and a frozen pizza. 

Someone had found words, sentences, and meaning to what has been on my mind/heart (especially) this past month. how freeing. i had to share.

#809

three moves in less than nine months is pure craziness.
thank goodness we are planning on staying at this place a little longer than the last place.
we absolutely love it plus it was quite the adventure getting our box spring upstairs. 

it's amazing how simple things make you love a place so stinking much. 
wood floors. old fixtures.  so many windows. double sink. my own washer & dryer. off-street parking. an upstairs, downstairs, basement and attic. tall ceilings. blah blah blah.     

the jar

Happy New Year!! so one of my being goals for 2014 was being content. 

content [kuh-n-tent]

• in a state of peaceful happiness 

I absolutely love this definition. peaceful happiness. that sounds amazing. being content seems like such a simple thing and I'm beginning to think that it actually is. the hard part is actually staying content. remaining in a state of peaceful happiness.

for me being content is twofold. grateful + celebration.