I stumbled across this amazingly sarcastic and hilarious blog LetsFeelBetter last week and one of her recent blog posts really resonated with me. I would encourage you to check it out if you have a chronic illness or know someone who has one. The blog post is called Five Ways You're Not "Living" with Chronic Illness Here's a little peek of what lead to another ah-ha moment for me.   

4. You’re Not Living with Chronic Illness if You’re “Fighting” It

Chronic Illness is not cancer. You don’t “fight” it. You don’t “beat” it. You don’t make a voodoo doll out of it and start stabbing it with acupuncture needles. In the same way we don’t use the word “cure” to mean “treat’ we can’t use the word “fight” to mean “deal with.” Don’t head-butt your disease, outsmart it.

shopping with Nans

I've always loved shopping. like a lot. probably too much actually. my senior year of high school I went to the mall every single week and I pretty much always came home with at least one bag. in college I went on a shopping fast for an entire summer. of course bills and being an "adult" have helped my shopping compulsion to calm down. but I still love a shopping adventure. 

I also want to introduce you all to a lovely friend. Nans is a bit psychotic and unpredictable and very needy. oh and I can't ever get away from her. Sounds like a great friend right?! yes I am talking about my autonomic disorder. Nans is the short and sweet nickname for my (naughty) autonomic nervous system. 

in the pursuit of happiness & health

"I'm so sick of trying things..." 

and I meant it. I was frustrated and defeated. I was ready to wave the white flag. it didn't really seem to matter if I did everything that anyone and everyone suggested - I could barely function most days. I was faking feeling good most of the time so that I could have a life. and so I sent that text to my mom. 

that particular night I was mad because if it wasn't one symptom it was another. I had traded constant dizziness for constant nausea. that day I had been so excited the nausea eased up enough for me to eat dinner. chicken, a baked potato, and corn on the cob to be exact. except then I started having horrible chest pain. before you start freaking out (the words "chest pain" make anyone freak - trust me I'm a cardiac nurse) let me assure you I've been having chest pain for over a year. it's not real chest pain in the sense that I don't have any blockages in my coronary arteries but goodness gracious fake chest pain hurts. that night i was wondering how did my normal include nausea and chest pain?!