When you feel like a hot-mess, shit-show, freaking basket case of a horrible train wreck, it's a huge plus to look like you've got your shit together. Emphasis on the look like part. Because if I'm being shallow honest, it's easier to fake being/feeling well if I don't have strangers (or my mom) telling me how horrible I look or asking me if I'm okay.
In the spirit of being transparent, I'm going to get real shallow. Here are my flare up tips to fake it til you make it.
Tanning Lotion
Flare Up Tips to "fake it til you make it"
Tanning Lotion
This stuff is golden. It hides the fact that you are a translucent ghost vampire creature. When your fake tan is on point, people think you've been hanging at the pool or just got back from a vacation.
Makeup
Again, you're trying to distract from the fact that you look terrible so bronze the shit outta your face, cover up those black bags under your eyes and use about 5 coats of mascara. Save some time and don't wash your face and you're good to go for days... the smokey eye look is in and just keep reapplying the bronzer.
Workout Clothes
If you have to leave the house wear workout clothes. People will assume you're out of breath cause you just finished an intense cardio session. No one needs to know the truth (that you're out of breath cause you're not in bed)
Compression Sleeves + Long Pants
We all know you need that extra squeeze in your life so invest in compression sleeves and no one will know. Unless of course they see the neon pink peeking out from under your long pants.
Dry Shampoo
In case you were wondering, you can dry shampoo your hair multiple times. Not that I know from personal experience... I just read that somewhere.
Nail Polish
Because what doesn't say I have my poop in a group like some "marshmallow" on your toes and some "wild nude" on your fingernails?! The answer is nothing.
Medicate Yourself
Take your meds like a compliant 85 year old patient. Take your PRNs while you're at it. Eat some salt right outta the salt shaker and drink all the water. This girl is not leaving the house unless my autonomic nervous system
is salty, hydrated and beta-blocked.
is salty, hydrated and beta-blocked.
Lean
If I'm even semi upright you better believe I'm leaning on something so I don't fall or pass out. Everyone else thinks I'm just super comfortable and lounging... if only they knew!
Smile
Just smile and don't talk much. You're jaded, you're mad about your flare up. You're not exactly throwing up sunshine and happiness so just smile and everyone will think you're doing great.
* * * * *
It's day #5 of my current flare up and the sarcasm is flowing more than the usual. I feel like "superficial" and "shallow" have negative connotations which isn't necessarily true when it comes to a flare up. Flare up equals survival mode. Survival mode for me is sarcasm, laughing and sometimes faking it until the flare up passes. If I looked how I feel during a flare up then I would just give up. If I can fake the world out then sometimes, just sometimes I can fake myself out a little bit and that is bliss. I just keep repeating - I'm okay. I look okay. I'm going to be okay - and ignore how I truly feel.
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