Mama Rants: Breastfeeding

Monday, May 4, 2015

I have been a mama for all of 39 days so that basically makes me an expert (sarcasm). And if you know me you are well aware of the fact that I never ever have an opinion about anything (sarcasm). You will also be aware that I never am sarcastic (sarcasm). Please tell me you are reading between the lines or rather the parentheses in this case. Also see my disclaimer at the bottom. Now let's get to it. 


I had no clue what I was doing. Was I magically suppose to know how to breastfeed since I had just given birth?! When the nurse asked me if I had tried to nurse Ike yet I just gave her a terrified blank look. Which is probably why she grabbed my boob and Ike's head and smashed them together. Good thing Ike knew what he was doing.
Breastfeeding is hard.

It takes commitment. Babies need to eat every couple hours. Sometimes babies want to nurse all the time. It can be exhausting and some days you want to quit.  

Breastfeeding is also really weird.

Your boobs become huge. Sometimes they hurt. Boob stretch marks are a real thing. They leak lots of liquid. You even get to wear boob pads. Let's not forget to mention how sore your nipples can be. If your (un)lucky you can get a clogged duct or an infection called mastitis. Oh and you are feeding a little human with your boobs. It's weird. 

Now to make life harder, weirder and more stressful just take your baby and boobs anywhere and it gets even weirder. Welcome to my rant on breastfeeding in public. 

"My opinion is that anybody offended by breastfeeding is staring too long" - unknown

I don't understand what the issue is. I think it's just common sense. 

Babies need to eat. Trust me I'm not trying to do anything sexy with my boobs. I'm. just. feeding. my. baby. 

Bathrooms are disgusting. I refuse to feed my baby in a bathroom stall. Do you want to eat your meal in a bathroom? I'm guessing not because that's disgusting so don't you dare insist that my baby eat in the bathroom. 

Nursing rooms basically don't exist. And we already established that bathrooms don't count as nursing rooms.

Most women cover up with a blanket or nursing cover. And news flash if they don't you will just see the top or side of their boob. You see that every summer when bikini season rolls around. I promise I won't shove my nipple in your face. 

Also stop looking. Chances are you won't be so offended if you stop looking at me feeding my baby with my boob. That's how my baby eats. Get over it. 

No mama should feel like she can't leave the house. Or must find a place to hide to feed her baby. No mama should feel worried or ashamed. She shouldn't have to put her game face on and be prepared for rude stares and comments. I'm pretty sure most people in the world either have boobs or have seen a boob so people please don't make this harder or weirder. It already is hard and weird. 

And no I haven't turned into "that mom" (another mama rant for another blog post). I am simply Ike's mom and I'm being the best mama to him that I know how to be. 

Disclaimer: This mama rant and any future mama rants are just that. Rants. My rants. You don't have to agree. In fact I am certain that some of you will definitely not agree but don't go raining on my rant :) These are my thoughts and you are entitled to your own but not on my blog. Totally kidding. As always I would love to hear your thoughts so leave me a comment. I feel like all these sleepless nights are bringing out my sarcastic side even more. Anywho let's just be friends and have a conversation. 


  1. haha! I don't know about anyone else, but I absolutely love your sarcasm! How refreshing! And by the way, I totally agree with you on this issue! And keep up the good rants! Love you!

    1. I'm so glad you appreciate my sarcasm Marci :) and I'm pretty sure there will be more rants... love you too!!


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