Sh*t This Preggo Has Said

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Preggos here is feeling really pregnant as in 39 weeks and 5 days pregnant. And by really pregnant I actually mean really fat, really tired, really cranky, and really really ready to not be pregnant.

Ike's due date is the day after tomorrow. His eviction date is a week from tomorrow (hallelujah the end is near one way or another). And I am beyond ready. Hospital bags are packed. My nails are painted and my legs are shaved (top priorities). I worked on my tan last week. Nursery is done. The house is currently clean. Car seat is installed. Freezer meals are prepped. Baby announcement envelopes are even addressed. It's time to get this whole labor and delivery thing going. Side note I've never been so excited to push something out of me or have something cut out of me in my life. 

trimesters of pregnancy

amen GET THIS BABY OUT!!! But since that's not happening at the present moment this preggo mama needs a good laugh... so I give you 

Sh*t This Preggo Has Said 

"we are adopting the rest of our kids" 
may or may not have said this numerous times but in my defense 17 weeks of constant nausea sucks big time.

"it's a good pregnancy day when you only pee yourself three times"
the second you get pregnant buy stock or invest in pads or adult diapers or a foley catheter.

"you know this is your fault"
some days you just need to blame someone aka the husband. this is also very effective when you want the husband to do something.

"I don't think I can get any bigger"
I first said this at 20ish weeks. oh how naive I was.

"yup definitely just peed my pants"
fyi Target really needs a bathroom in the back of their store cause sometimes as in all the time your bladder is full and then your sister says something funny and you laugh and the rest is history.

"I feel like there's a bowling ball trying to come out of me.... and I feel like someone gave the baby knives and he's practicing juggling them" 
pelvic pressure made me hate everything.

"Aaron push me... I'm stuck"
gone are the days of being able to do anything easily. things like rolling over in bed, getting out of bed, standing up, getting out of the car, basically moving etc.

"my boobs are leaking"
nope that's perfectly normal. you're just lactating while pregnant.

"I feel like a crippled, swollen, obese, diabetic hippo" 
welcome to the last month of pregnancy.

"I'm going to YouTube how to strip my own membranes"
desperate times call for desperate threats.

"Will you shoot me with an elephant tranquilizer and wake me up when Ike's here?"
simple request. not sure why no one will grant it.

Growing a human being is an amazing miracle but it definitely turns you into a pyscho sometimes. It's been real and it's been fun but I'm definitely ready to enter the next adventure of motherhood. And in case I have not been perfectly clear

I am so ready to have this baby


Post a Comment

template design by Studio Mommy (© copyright 2015)