this girl is finally going to put some scrubs on and be a cardiac nurse. i found out last week that i got a position on my old floor. i'm stoked to be back with some fabulous coworkers and taking care of people. cardiac patients are the best. most of the time anyways. 

*insert crazy happy dance dancing* 

in other news it's been SIX months since surgery (if you didn't know I had open heart surgery at the Mayo Clinic to fix a congenital heart defect in May) and its been full of ups & downs BUT i will say that I loved my time at Mayo.

{re} focus | {re} adjust

a lot of little things have happened since my last post the new (ab)normal  

Aaron and I moved back to Nebraska. Omaha won the low altitude competition {1,090 ft vs 6,035ft}. we are currently living with my parents while we regroup which means lots of snuggle time with Jack. I have taught him how to eat food off of utensils & drink iced coffee from a cup. he's a genius. I am going to a chiropractor three times a week to help my dysfunctional autonomic system function at it's full dysfunctional capacity.

the new (ab)normal

August has been weird. 

six doctor appointments. a 48 hour holter monitor. a tilt table test. being told i'm stressed. over a week stuck in bed. ridiculous amounts of salt and water. too many medication changes. and the most amazing combinations of horrid symptoms. 

talking about the taboo | part three | a discussion about miscarriage

  | life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards |

i don't really care for statistics about miscarriage except they do illuminate how frequent miscarriages occur. numbers are revealing. more women walk around with this secret that we know. 

talking about the taboo | part two | a discussion about miscarriage

| it's not forgetting that heals it's remembering |

the months after we lost our baby i wanted to simply forget. i thought that by forgetting maybe i could erase the hurt. i thought that forgetting would be easier. it was harder. 


remembering is getting easier. i still vacillate between bitterness & sadness when i think about miscarrying and joy & love when i think about those few weeks i was pregnant. revisiting and remembering initiated healing. and led to wanting to acknowledge and remember the precious life i love and miss.

talking about the taboo | part one | a discussion about miscarriage

| love always leaves a significant mark |

we [as a society] do not talk about it. we ignore it. pretend it didn't happen. but it does happen. and it did happen to us last year. 

miscarriage. why is it so taboo to talk about miscarriage?

Da Pacem.

click here to go to his bandcamp website

last October Aaron was signed by Symmetrical Records and he began working on putting together an album to release. He chose the alias/name Da Pacem [latin for give peace]